My father is motivated by a super-sized sense of Duty. He’s just been diagnosed with an incurable cancer. He’s chosen quality of life over quantity of life.
As our family moves into full-on palliative care, I’m thinking about this overwhelming sense of Duty that drives my father. Where did it come from? Is it like cancer—in all of us but only manifests in some?
What motivates any of us? It’s a question I’ve been asking for decades.
… More Capital D: Dad, Duty, Dignity
No slight intended to the REAL Canadian trade negotiators…but here’s a fantasy league that may be fun. If you were the general manager of Canada’s trade team, who would you draft? … More Fantasy League: Drafting the “Eh” Team
My 30-year-old son is to be married on New Year’s Eve, to a woman we all adore.
And my 82-year-old father has just been told there’s a 99% likelihood he has lung cancer. The growth in his left lung so vast, the upper part of his lung has collapsed.
How do I hold such intense joy and such intense sadness? Together. In both hands. At the same time. … More Cradling Joy & Sadness in both hands
In Calgary, we’ve laid out the red carpet for Amazon. We’re hoping to lure Silicon Valley types to our cooler stretch of the Rockies. I’m encouraged by this. Not just because we need their tax dollars and jobs, we recognize that we need a strong infusion of risk-taking DNA. Sometimes we get bound up in our peace, order & good government roots.
In my crystal ball, I see Albertans remembering how to strive together, take risks, compete. … More Darwin’s Curse: evolve or perish
“We can’t call men out, and then use sex or sexist language back at them,” writes former MLA Donna Kennedy Glans. “I don’t encourage women to grow a thicker skin. To lighten up. But I do encourage them to observe their reactions to both sexist criticism and fawning adoration. To be wary of both. To … More Repost from CBC News: The sexist language of politics: Both men and women need to change
I’m not buying it!
Companies tout themselves as ‘sustainable’. Then dare to sell me consumer goods designed to be obsolete in an all-too-short while.
I’m fighting back! … More Black Friday: I’m not buying it!
My great-grandfather Maurice Elliott died in 1944 after the uninsured barn on their farm burned to the ground. He left behind his widow and nine children.
Only as an adult did I come to know his death was a suicide. It wasn’t my grandmother or father who told me. For them, it was a deeply buried secret.
We now have the science available to look at someone’s brain in an MRI and diagnose whether or not that person is depressed.
With other health challenges—cancer, heart disease, kidney stones–we rely on diagnostic tools and trust the science.
How do we get to that same level of certainty and acceptance with brain health? … More Brain Health: Of course we can do better
Making or influencing or blocking a decision that affects others is a big deal. It’s a choice, a skill and a responsibility. Marrying dignity to decision-making is an investment not only in the humanity of our choices, but also in the potential of actually getting something done, of actually moving forward. … More Who is making your decisions?
Let’s make this moment about ordinary people.
Let’s make #MeToo more than a Hollywood moment.
No, I’m not stepping forward to dredge up the sordid details of my stories of sexual harassment and intimidation for inspection. Is there a female alive who hasn’t experienced a creepy power play by a male, one with sexual overtones? This blog is about 1) what’s triggering the opening of #MeToo floodgates; 2) how this phenomenal level of damned up exploitation happened in plain sight without bystander knowledge and intervention; and 3) what can all of us, females and males, do to prevent #MeToo turning into a manhunt that wipes out the potential for constructive, trusting relationships between ordinary women and men. There is so much at stake here. … More Let’s make #MeToo a hashtag for ordinary women
The Mafia is still alive in Sicily, Italy. And people are fighting back. This blog takes a look at modern-day Sicily, and their transition from an honour culture to a dignity culture.
… More Dignity and the Sicilian Mafia
Remember Archie Bunker? The lovable bigot in All in the Family TV series who was suspicious of blacks, Hispanics, “commies”, gays, hippies, Jews, Catholics, “women’s libbers” and Polish-Americans? Imagine his response if someone told Bunker to “check his privilege”. Even more amusing, imagine if someone tried to cast Bunker as a victim!
Trump promised the forgotten he would restore lost honour. Turning angry white men into victims isn’t restoring their honour or their dignity. Trump has replaced pride with self-pity. He’s turning these Americans upside-down!
Compassion unfolds when your resonance with someone’s distress leads you to actually do something to help. Right now, our capacity for compassion seems blunted by the shrill cries of “victimhood”. … More Angry White Men as the Victims
Anxiety has a biological purpose. It awakens our senses and makes us alive to imminent threats. In anxious times, people seem to fall victim to either utopias or catastrophe. Jurgen Moltmann, author of Ethics of Hope explains: “In the exuberance of hope, the temptation is utopianism; in fear, the temptation is alarmism.” Neither of these polarized responses work.
Moltmann suggests we figure out how to recognize and advance peace even while conflict exists. He defines reconciliation as “the peace which makes it possible for us, in the midst of strife, to bring the conflict to a just end.”
I’ve been thinking about reconciliation a lot lately, in the context of First Nations in Canada and communities in Yemen. Reconciliation is challenging to define, and even harder to achieve. I’m intrigued by Moltmann’s description. … More Nuclear War: Do we have wiggle room?
Not everyone may be qualified to walk in a politically-torqued pride parade.
Getting behind friends and family —and even strangers—facing cultural, faith and community barriers in their sexual choices, that’s an everyday action. No need for external accreditation to do this work. No need for a parade. You just do it. … More Pride & Uncle Arnold
What does work mean to you? How has work shaped who you are and how you think about yourself?
Business risk-taking is increasingly institutionalized, often via detailed policies, and the discretion of individual workers is constrained. To the outsider, the result can look like rigid, inflexible, intransigent attitudes by employees. To the insider, the tight reins can diminish an employee’s sense of self-worth.
Imagine the potential if the dignity of workers within large companies could be recovered on a system-wide basis. … More Work & Dignity
In Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert Pirsig describes a 17-day journey of father and son across the U.S., on secondary roads where possible, as a sort of Chautauqua:
“Like the traveling tent-show Chautauquas that used to move across America…an old-time series of popular talks intended to edify and entertain, improve the mind and bring culture and enlightenment to the ears and thoughts of the hearer.”
We now live in an uber-plugged in world. Citizens anywhere can access the outside world at will. And yet the idea of a Chautauqua, going on the road to visit these remote and isolated places, is appealing. I’ve been re-reading Wallace Stegner’s Wolf Willow, his story of growing up in the Cypress Hills in pioneer days. And I’m drawn to know more about these wild and difficult places, their all-encompassing sacredness and how people live in their midst. Alberta and Saskatchewan are going through tough times right now, and we’ve been through tough times before. Beyond the highlights in glossy tourist brochures, I want to understand this landscape and learn what it has to share about living in the West and about progress and resiliency.
This is my Chautauqua. … More Chautauqua Revival
Understandably, one of the reactions to times of great uncertainty and to any attack – whether real or perceived- is an increased receptivity to top-down direction and powerful leadership, for example, forceful security measures to counter terrorists or even aggressive tweets in the attempt to deter rogue states threatening nuclear war. We want someone to fix the problem! And, yet, in addition to the minor indignities, the hassle of security checks at airports, there are serious implications for personal dignity that we are wise to consider before being seduced into avoiding or succumbing to the turbulent emotions that accompany uncertainty. … More Preserving Dignity in Uncertain Times
We are indoctrinated to believe that relationships are full of drama; in fact we have entire industries built up around soap operas and reality television, and our news and history books reinforce a continual story of good vs bad, stronger and weaker, the conqueror and the vanquished. These opposing forces feed competition and a fear of being left behind, whether you are the bullied or the bully, with someone just waiting to take your spot. A healthy relationship, what I’m calling graceful, is made up of shared power, mutuality and belonging, and inherent value or dignity.
Shared power is fed by free expression, by being whom and what you are, and not by being what you think you should be or a limited version of yourself. Belonging is fueled by connection, by understanding and forgiving ignorance and transcending differences. Finally, dignity is the simple recognition that despite any differences, there is an unconditional value to human beings as individuals, and collectively, including as citizens of a country. This value is honoured when we allow people and nations to have their own power, when we don’t try to solve all their problems for them, when we mind our own business as well as we do others.
In super-simplified terms, Canadians could potentially benefit from a more explicit sense of self and Americans a more explicit sense of other. By working together we expand the capacity of our citizens to continue the still young legacy of leading in the world. … More Sleeping with an Elephant
What I’m wondering about is the effect of “America first” on how we, as Canadians, see our own economy, and choices. We can:
1. Respond in kind, with our Canadian brand of national pride. “Canada first!” With honour and pride, it’s our reputation that makes us honourable or proud and we have to respond, aggressively, to aggressors, or risk losing that sense of worth. Revenge, retribution, vendettas, and ‘Tit-for-Tat’ reactions, are expected.
2. Be the victim. Be a David to the American Goliath. Attract global sympathy, not by emphasizing either our own strength or inner worth as Canadians, but by complaining about the America-first trade aggressions. Focus on our powerlessness.
3. Act with dignity. Operate from the belief that all people, and arguably, by extension nations, have dignity, inherent worth that exists independently of what others think. Yes, insults and attacks can try to take away our dignity as Canadians but, we can choose to exercise self-restraint in the game of “Tit-For-Tat” and direct our energy to negotiating agreements that reaffirm the soundness of Canada as a strong and resource-full trading nation. In any circumstance, we can act as masters of our own fate. … More Protectionism, Global Trade and Finding Our Dignity in a Bottle of Ketchup!
Looking back…How did we get from 1967 to 2017, from young girls to women, in an age that promised gender equality yet didn’t, really, take down the practical barriers? The answer, for me, lies in a fervent belief that our dignity was innate, that our sense of worth was never in question. …
This is tricky. Power, alone, doesn’t work…power without love is cold and ruthless. It is power ‘over’ others which can easily erode their dignity. And, love, alone, doesn’t work either. Love without power is polite, conflict avoiding and can undermine your own dignity or that of others if you create victims. … More Shoulders Squared: Celebrating Gender Equality in Canada
I’m looking for politicians who preserve their own sense of dignity, and who likewise can recognize the dignity in me, the citizen. … More Is Dignity on the Ballot?
Seemingly, we in the ‘land of opportunity’ have the benevolence to give ‘these people’ a home. The truth; and the dignified perspective, is that we are ALL ‘these people’. People who share more similarities than differences in that home, security and relationship are key to our well-being and similar in that the threat of persecution, if allowed, will cause conflict. Protectionist and isolationist philosophy is not only no longer feasible as a ‘fix’, it is not, in my opinion, advantageous to the collective. On the other end of the continuum, it’s also not effective to turn all migrants into powerless victims. … More Making home a much bigger place
What moves me, listening to Dr. Al-Guneid tell his story, is his commitment to preserve his own sense of dignity, whatever the circumstances. What is most deeply disturbing, is taking in how this family, or any displaced family, bears the weight of not-knowing. He has lost access to the sovereignty of his home country. Without a sense of this being temporary or permanent, how then do people actually settle? … More When You Can’t Go Home
This is the excerpt for your very first post. … More Looking for Dignity