Play Ping-Pong & Build Legacy

Nobody thinks ‘medium-term’.
Generally, we think short-term. Occasionally, long-term.
When you have short term in one hand, and long term in the other, there are trade-offs. But it’s not like you think ‘short-term’ Monday to Friday, and longer-term on the weekend.

So, how do people do this? How do you hold short-term & long-term in both hands, at the same time?

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Angry White Men as the Victims

Remember Archie Bunker? The lovable bigot in All in the Family TV series who was suspicious of blacks, Hispanics, “commies”, gays, hippies, Jews, Catholics, “women’s libbers” and Polish-Americans? Imagine his response if someone told Bunker to “check his privilege”. Even more amusing, imagine if someone tried to cast Bunker as a victim!

Trump promised the forgotten he would restore lost honour. Turning angry white men into victims isn’t restoring their honour or their dignity. Trump has replaced pride with self-pity. He’s turning these Americans upside-down!

Compassion unfolds when your resonance with someone’s distress leads you to actually do something to help. Right now, our capacity for compassion seems blunted by the shrill cries of “victimhood”.  … More Angry White Men as the Victims

Preserving Dignity in Uncertain Times

Understandably, one of the reactions to times of great uncertainty and to any attack – whether real or perceived- is an increased receptivity to top-down direction and powerful leadership, for example, forceful security measures to counter terrorists or even aggressive tweets in the attempt to deter rogue states threatening nuclear war. We want someone to fix the problem! And, yet, in addition to the minor indignities, the hassle of security checks at airports, there are serious implications for personal dignity that we are wise to consider before being seduced into avoiding or succumbing to the turbulent emotions that accompany uncertainty. … More Preserving Dignity in Uncertain Times

Sleeping with an Elephant

We are indoctrinated to believe that relationships are full of drama; in fact we have entire industries built up around soap operas and reality television, and our news and history books reinforce a continual story of good vs bad, stronger and weaker, the conqueror and the vanquished. These opposing forces feed competition and a fear of being left behind, whether you are the bullied or the bully, with someone just waiting to take your spot. A healthy relationship, what I’m calling graceful, is made up of shared power, mutuality and belonging, and inherent value or dignity.

Shared power is fed by free expression, by being whom and what you are, and not by being what you think you should be or a limited version of yourself. Belonging is fueled by connection, by understanding and forgiving ignorance and transcending differences.  Finally, dignity is the simple recognition that despite any differences, there is an unconditional value to human beings as individuals, and collectively, including as citizens of a country. This value is honoured when we allow people and nations to have their own power, when we don’t try to solve all their problems for them, when we mind our own business as well as we do others.

In super-simplified terms, Canadians could potentially benefit from a more explicit sense of self and Americans a more explicit sense of other. By working together we expand the capacity of our citizens to continue the still young legacy of leading in the world. … More Sleeping with an Elephant